What lives have they lived. The struggle is not just the passion of music, but also the dirty morality, which they have surpassed like hard stones. Life is not about singing concerts for ever and ever but to look at how the struggle of life has sculpted our music. As a child when I saw Umrao Jaan, my aim in life was to become Tawaif, not knowing the struggle of that life. Zohara, Gauhar, Akthari Bai, Rasoolan, I felt i knew from times immemorial, like as though they were all my best friends. I realised that life is not about fantasy of Viraha, as each voice opened up a new story of Viraha. Mine too, went haywire and then the voice developed. Not the globalised development, but search that started layering my voice of pain, of struggles, of custodial torture, of being in lock ups, of standing in the middle of the street and being able to sing in an open voice for anyone who calls and says "Sumathi sing this". Layers build and I am going back, back to all my friends..... Gauhra,Zohra,Rasoolan, Roshanara, Kesar, Mogubia,and many others.
